


He Said the "A" Word

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-19
Updated: 2004-10-19
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: He said it ... and now he has to pay





	He Said the "A" Word

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**He Said the "A" Word**

**by: Samantha Smith**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna, Sam  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** General, Romance  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** You'll know who's mine ... and who's not.  
**Summary:** He said it ... and now he has to pay.  
**Author's Note:** Sam's POV. My first ever. Laugh. Cry. Throw things. 

They don't see it. I do. I see that look. Everyone sees it. It seems like hatred in its purest form. I swear it seems like that... on the outside. But look at it for a minute. Give it a minute. 

Wait. You don't know what I'm talking about. Well, let me explain it. It's them. Look at them. Josh and Donna. How can you not see it? 

"Shut up you pompous, arrogant, half-wit!" 

Meet Donna Moss. She's a beautiful blonde out of Wisconsin. Honestly, if I thought I had a chance with her ... I would totally go for it. But she's Josh's. 

"You can't tell me what to do! Remember, I sign YOUR checks!" 

Well, in spirit at least. Now you've become acquainted with Josh Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff for the President of the United States. As a writer, I can definitely decode what they're saying. Oh what subtext! But as a man of relative intelligence, I am going to stay away from that. 

"Why can't you treat me like an equal?!" 

Oh no. Josh ... don't say what I KNOW you're going to ... 

"Because you're not my equal! You're my ASSISTANT!" 

Now there's trouble. He has just pissed her off beyond what anyone could have ever pissed her off. 

"You know what, Josh? You're right." 

I wince. She does not mean that, yet she's sat back in her seat. He's retreated to his office. He's probably in his room trying to force himself to gloat. Maybe I should go see how he is. 

I walk in. His head is down on his desk. If he was a serious drinking man, I would probably smell the liquor from where I am, in his doorway. 

"Josh? Can I come in?" 

His face was smashed against his desk. His mouth could barely move due to the pressure. "If I said 'no' would you go away?" 

"No." 

"Then what's the point of me answering?" 

I enter, shut the door, and sit. "Josh, that was -" 

"Completely true." He cut me off, jerking his head upright. He knew that wasn't what I was going to say. "I mean, she deserved every last word." He points at the door, now shouting. "She makes me look like an idiot out there every damn day, Sam. You know it. I know it. She knows it. EVERYONE knows it!" 

Okay. Granted, she does make him look bad a lot. But, in her defense, he ruins every perspective date she ever goes on. "You're not Mr. Perfect either, Josh." 

He slammed his head back against the desk. "No kidding." 

And I think that's the point where he officially lost it. I mean, the man cracked up. He stood and walked to the door, flinging it open. "Donnatella Moss!!" 

She reluctantly stood and walked to his door. She was silent. She gave him a look that could make a nuclear bomb explode on its own. 

"Address me with 'How can I help you, Sir?', huh?" 

She just stared. 

"Donna. You're fired. You treat me with such disrespect and, quite frankly, I think you are plotting my demise. Therefore, as of this moment, you're fired." 

I shut my eyes tightly, praying I hadn't heard that. 

Donna sure did. She nodded with a sarcastic smile on her face as she removed her credentials. She threw them onto his desk in frustration and stormed out. She was off to pack her things. 

"Josh ..." 

"No. Don't 'Josh' me. Would you let Cathy stay around if she treated you like that?" 

"Cathy withholds food from me, Josh. And I treat her nicely. I don't know what my life would be like if I treated her like you treat Donna." 

"Treat-ed, my friend. Donna Moss is no longer on this staff, and no longer in my life. And, you know what? I'm glad. Now I can find someone who will bring me coffee ... and give me the respect I deserve. I am a very important person, Sam. She needs to realize that." He kind of smirked. He doesn't think she's actually going to leave. 

I turn slightly, looking out the door. Oh, she's leaving all right. She had a bunch of stuff in a box already. Now she's going over to the coat rack ... and now ... she's grabbing her box. I should really say something ... 

"Josh. She's leaving." 

"No she's not, Seaborn. She's just making a scene." 

I watch her leave with her things. 

"You know if she leaves the building she can't get back in." I point to her credentials on his desk. By the look on his face, he hadn't noticed her throwing them down before. 

"She ... ?" 

"Gone." I suppose I could have been more delicate, but I think this is what he needs. He needs to know she's gone. 

"She actually left?" He's staring out the door. He stands and walks out into his bullpen. He looks down on her empty desk. "She's gone." 

"If you want to catch her, I'm sure if you ran you could get to her before she gets a cab ..." 

"No." He looked down. He was hurting now. "No ... see ... she would have ... if she wanted to stay she would have stayed." 

"Josh. You fired her." I had to speak frankly. I had to be blunt. 

"I fire her every other Tuesday. She claims to be impervious." 

Okay. I must say, with this new information ... I am a bit baffled. "Really?" 

"Yes. I just - you know how women can be." 

"Yeah. Especially when you have a thing for them." 

"Yeah." He paused. I think he just realized what he said. "Wait, what?" 

I knew it! "I knew it!" 

"I misunderstood the question." 

"No, no. You didn't misunderstand the question. And you'd better go get her. She could be making plans to go back to Madison." 

"I'm sure she and Dr. Freeride will be happy together." 

"Josh ..." 

"She's gone. No big deal. I can find someone new." 

I shrugged my shoulders at him. "I'm not helping you, ya know." I turned and walked out. I know he just stood there with a blank stare on his face. He knows he screwed up. Now let's see what he does about it. 

I, on the other hand, am in the mood to go praise Cathy. 

*** 

Three months have passed and I don't believe I am seeing what I am seeing. Or, at least what I think I am seeing. I walk up to Donna's desk. A woman who looks just like her is sitting there typing. "Hey, Donna." 

The girl looks up at me. Definitely not Donna. "My name's Dana." Dana ... sounds like Donna. 

"Uh, hi." I extend my hand to her. "Sam Seaborn." I smile. "Is Josh in?" 

She smiles. "Yeah. Go on in." 

I smile back and walk into his office. "Dana, huh?" 

"Isn't she a knockout?" 

"She looks like Donna." 

"She does not." He stops to think. "Well, even if she does ... that's not why I hired her. She has job experience." 

"Yeah." I shake my head at him. "Have you heard from her?" 

He looks up at me. "Who? Donna?" 

"Yes. Have you spoken with her?" 

He shakes his head 'no'. 

"Well, I have." 

He looks again, his eyes widen. "How- how is she?" 

"She loves it back home in Wisconsin." 

His face falls. "She left for home?" 

"She said she's not coming back. Oh, and she also said that she was supposed to start school in the fall ... but now she had to try to take those classes back home." 

I can tell this is starting to bother him. "Did she leave you a phone number?" 

"Yeah." 

He looked at me. His eyes were growing wide with anticipation. I said nothing more until he spoke. "Well, can I have it?" 

"No." I was short with him. He got mad. 

"Well why the hell not?!" Okay, I think mad was an understatement. 

"She told me not to tell you what it was." 

"Wha-what did she do that for?" 

I thought long and hard - well, maybe 2 seconds - then I tried to be nice. "Remember when she said she hated your breathing guts?" He nodded. "She's madder than that." 

His eyes grew wide. He looked down. "Definitely didn't think that was possible." 

"Well, it is. But you know what, Josh? I'm a good guy." I looked at his face begin to form a smile. "I'm going to tell her that you asked about her." 

Well, I didn't think a face could change so rapidly. His almost-smile became a frown. "I thought you said you would be a nice guy." 

"I did. I'll tell her you asked about her." 

"Why does she talk to you?" 

"Because I'm trying to get her to come back ... I told her I'd put her on my staff ... CJ talks to her too, ya know." 

He stood up and left ... apparently he was headed for CJ's office. 

I heard him burst in. "You've been talking to Donna?!" 

I couldn't help it. I had to follow him. I stood by the door, listening intently. 

"I believe what you're trying to say is 'Good morning, CJ. You look ravishing.' Don't you think?" 

"No! I don't think! I think you need to tell me what you and Donna have been talking about." 

She scoffed. I couldn't believe I heard her scoff at a moment like this. "We've been talking about her relationship with this jerk ... and how he never appreciated her ... and how she left him for a silly reason ... then went with this other guy ... who - of course - screwed up and now she's back with ... oh, what's his name? That's right. She's back with David." 

I could hear his face drop. His jaw must have been on the floor. "D-Dr. Free-Freeride?" 

"David Kingston. Excuse me, DOCTOR David Kingston." She paused. "Apparently, they met at a coffee shop ... and they've been seeing each other ever since. She said that this was the guy she came back to you from." Another pause. "Ironic, huh?" 

His voice was low and muffled. I am assuming he had his hand over his mouth. "Uh, yeah. Ironic." 

He turned and came out. I tried to look busy. He stopped and looked at me. "My office. Now." He walked through the corridors and into his office. He held the door open for me, then shut it right behind me. "I'm not in love with her." 

Now it was my jaw's turn to hit the floor. "No one said you were." 

He started fumbling around for words. "I- I know that. I was \- I was ... just ... saying." His tone got lower and the words became slower with every word. 

"Yeah. Josh?" 

"What?" He slunk into his chair behind his desk. Someone was in the middle of an epiphany. Lucky for me, I got to see the look on his face when he came to grips with what he was thinking. 

"You okay, man?" 

He jumped up, seeming to be almost rejuvenated. "I am more than okay. I am GREAT!" Good ... he knows what he's doing now. I can just ... "DANA!" I can just shut him up ... 

"Josh?" 

The blonde came bounding into the office. 

He is such a moron. Now I know why CJ needs to do damage control. 

"You're fired. I am going to get my old assistant back." 

Good boy, Lyman. Now you're talking. "Uhm, not to put a downer on your marvelous idea ... but how do you propose doing that?" 

He stared at me; a small smile came to his face. "We're going to Madison." 

*** 

We got off the plane. It's May ... and it's 12 degrees below. How she can live here is beyond me. I look to Josh. He looks like he just crossed a portal into another dimension. I approach him from behind and place a hand on his shoulder. "We don't have to do this." 

"Yeah ... we do." He looked determined and a bit scared. He kind of just stood there. I applied a little pressure on his shoulder and we began to walk to baggage claim. 

Okay. You've caught me. I've been withholding information. Just between us ... I called Donna. I told her I was coming. I guess it slipped my mind that Josh was coming too. Oops. 

"Donna!" I see her and run up to her, but only after making sure Josh was occupied with that thing that turns and spits out luggage. 

"Hey, Sam!" She hugs me. I wonder if she's hugged him like that. 

Now, don't get the wrong idea ... I find her to be attractive and everything like I said before. But, you know what it's like. She's the pretty girl in class and every guy wants to hit on her. Only now, people have started to see the glare that Josh gives them once Donna has passed. 

He has this way of telling you to step off. He stands in the middle of the corridor, hands linked in front of his body. He stands with his feet shoulder length apart ... and then kind of tilts his head up. I don't know about you, but when I think of Josh Lyman looking like THAT, I certainly am not going to get in the way of what he has planned. 

"You look like a million bucks." I saw her smile. 

"What brings you out here? Why would you want to come out here? It's May ... and it's ..." 

I stop her. "... 12 degrees below." I laugh. Then my eyes widen. He's coming over. I haven't had time to tell her ... I don't - 

She grips my arm tightly; I think her nails are drawing blood. "Samuel Norman ..." She's talking through her teeth. I know that's not good. I mean, Mallory does it ... and it never ends with her and me naked in the same bed ... 

"Donna!" Josh is practically yelling as he approaches her. "I didn't know you were coming to pick us up!" He attempts to hug her. 

She backs away. She crosses her arms and looks back to me. "I didn't know there would be more than one person here for me to pick up." 

"I - I uhm ..." So I have the stammering down pact. You'd think with a degree from Princeton I would be able to conjure up a coherent sentence. No such luck. 

She looked at him, long and good. I thought she was going to say something. I really did. But she stopped and turned away. She shouted without looking back. "Let's go! I left supper on." 

Josh looked at me. "I don't think that went too well," he stated matter-of-factly. 

"No kidding, Romeo." 

"Oh, just to change this horrible subject ..." We start walking. "...my Secret Service name is Romeo. And her ..." He points ahead to Donna. "...she's my Juliet." 

"Well then, pal. I think you need to go make her see it that way." 

He nodded with a smile. "I think you're right, my friend. And I think I know how to do it." 

"Oh yeah? You're going to be a complete jerk to David, aren't you?" 

"Just part of my charms." 

"You don't have any charm." We caught up with Donna. "This big lug doesn't have any charm, does he?" 

"No. He doesn't." She opened her door. "Sam, you've got shot-gun." 

I climbed in and we began the excruciatingly long ride of about 40-something miles to her small house. With the roads being covered with snow and ice, we are driving at no more than 30 mph. 

*** 

We walked into her home and smelled spaghetti. She was cooking for me. Nice thought. Or, wait. No. Not a nice thought. 

"Donna, it smells great in here." I remove my jacket and hers. I hang them up. There's already a coat on the coat rack. 

"David, sweetie ... I'm back." 

I look over to see Josh. He's smirking. The bastard is actually smirking. SMIRKING! 

And then this ... what I assume to be a man ... emerges from the kitchen. Tall, blonde, muscular ... and he wraps his arms around Donna. He kisses her on the top of the head. 

She speaks to him. "Thanks for coming over and watching the food, David. I had to go pick up Sam from the airport." 

He spoke back. He had one of those musky, low voices. It fit him. "Are they both Sam?" 

"No. The one who is standing in the doorway is Joshua Lyman. He is my former boss." She wrapped her arms around his waist. 

"Why's he here?" 

About time I spoke up. "I brought him with me ... we're here -" 

Bastard had to pick NOW to start talking. 

"We're here to bring Donnatella home." 

The man spoke back, releasing Donna and stepping towards Josh. "She is home." 

"Uh, guys ..." I try to interject, but it is to no avail. 

"She's not home. She's in Wisconsin." 

"Wisconsin is her home!" David was becoming irate. 

"Her home is with me in Washington, DC!!" As you can tell, Josh isn't too happy either. 

"EXCUSE ME!" I know that voice. It's Donna's 'I-will-kick-the-crap-out-of-you-if-you-do-not-shut-your-mouth' voice. 

All of us look directly to the floor and mutter, "Sorry, Donna." 

"The dinner table is set. Go find a seat." 

David sits at the end and I sit next to him. I am thinking Josh is going to sit next to me, but he doesn't. He sits on the other side of David. Unbelievable. So I stand and he gives me his 'when-hell freezes-over' look. I sit back down and Donna starts to serve. I can see the annoyance on her face. 

She sits between Josh and me, gingerly cutting up her spaghetti. That's right ... she cuts her spaghetti. Both Josh and David are staring at her like it is the most amazing thing ever. 

She looks up as she takes a sip of her white wine. "Okay ... you three are seriously starting to bother me." 

Again, the three of us mutter, "Sorry." 

Amazing the power that woman has over us. All men, I bet. 

*** 

About two hours later, we are sitting in the living room ... and there's a fire in the fireplace. A fireplace in May. Reminds me of the time Josh and I almost set the White House on fire. 

"So, Mr. Kingston -." Josh began. 

"Doctor ..." 

"Excuse me?" 

"My name is Dr. Kingston. But please, call me David, Josh." 

"Call me Mr. Lyman." 

He can be such a bastard sometimes. I saw the look on Donna's face. I stand and pull her into another room with me. 

"He wants you back." 

"Sure has a funny way of showing it, Sam. He is being completely rude to Davey." 

"I know." 

"Oh, and just so you know ... David and I are pretending. We're not together." 

"Donna! I -" 

"You can't tell him. I want him to convince me on his own ... I want him to tell me why I should come back to him ... again." 

"Donna ... you know he can't do that." 

"Well, Sam, if he wants me back that bad ..." She paused. "...Then he's just going to have to come tell me himself." She then left the room. 

I followed shortly after. Josh and David were just sitting there. They were both equally annoyed at one another. 

"So ... Mr. Lyman ... what is it that you do again?" 

Josh beamed. "I am the Deputy Chief of Staff for the President of the United States." 

"Who's the Chief?" 

"Leo McGarry." 

"Oh ... so you're like Barney Fife?" 

Not the right choice of words. 

"I'm sorry, Dr. Freeride ... could you repeat that?" 

David stood. "What did you call me?" 

"Dr. Freeride. That IS your name ... or you tendency. What do you need her for now, David? Need to go back to school? Need money? Why'd you call her to come back now?" By the end of his rant, he was standing. His face inches from Dr. Kingston's. 

"JOSHUA!" Donna stood and grabbed him by the ear. "Kitchen. Now." 

Not like he really had a choice. They walked through the swinging door and she released him. "What are you doing?" 

"Can you believe that guy?" 

"I can't believe you." 

"Oh no, Donnatella Moss. You are NOT going to pin this on me." 

"Yes. Yes I think I am. You know why?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Because this IS your fault." 

He got loud. "How is this MY fault?! You started this three months ago in DC." 

"Well, if that's the case ... I am going to finish this now. Get out of my house. Take Sam with you. I don't ever want to see you again." She turned and stormed back into the living room. 

They were so loud that David and I heard every word. Unbelievable. I didn't even do anything wrong. 

Josh followed soon after. "Let's go, Sam. We don't belong here. I guess I was wrong in trying to get her to come back." 

I decided to state the obvious. "You didn't even ask her to come back." 

He stopped and turned to look at me; I was shaking my head in the negative. He looked at Donna. He arms were crossed and she was staring at him. I guess that's when he realized that he hadn't. 

His eyes widened. He stared at her. "Donna ..." 

She looked at him. 

"Donna. I want ... I came here ... well ..." Excellent. He is a great speaker; a true linguist. 

"Josh. Say what you have to say." 

"Donna. I'm lost." She was about to say something, but he raised a hand to silence her. "Let me talk, Donna. I am lost without you. Dana ... this new girl ... not like you. She brings me coffee ... and she's really nice to me..." 

I shoot him an icy glare. I mouth words to him: "Not going well ..." 

"Not that you're not nice!" He shifted uneasily. "Donna ... you're a great person. I miss seeing you every morning ... either waiting for me at the door or meeting me in the bullpen. I miss you reading me my schedule. I miss the look on your face when you see a look on my face. I miss ... I miss our walks ... and our talks. I miss being able to share my victories with you. I just ..." 

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Her voice was strained and wavering. "Josh ... that was the most amazing thing you've ever said to me ..." She was now standing and walking towards him, arms extended. 

He took her in his arms. He hugged her tightly, her head buried in his shoulder. "Donna, I need you ... I need you to be there for me. You mean more to me than I thought." 

She sniffled and pushed herself away, looking at David. 

"Donna ... I'm better than him. I can give you things he never could ..." 

She stifled a bit of laughter. "Like a migraine when I see you?" 

He laughed a bit too. "Exactly." 

"Josh?" She pushed herself further away. 

"Yes?" 

She smacked his arm. "What took you so damn long? I had CJ and Sam talking about me constantly ... I never thought I would have to bring Davey in on this. Is it jealousy? Because, you know, I could find a good man ..." She looked at David. "...one that's not married ..." She looks back at him, "... if I wanted to. I really could." 

"The local gomers don't deserve that, Donna. You should be with someone who makes you happy." 

She smirked. "And you have the nerve to say that as you are begging for me to come back to DC with you." 

I think a previous statement had just sunk in. "Wait a minute ... Dave and you aren't ...? What?" 

She smiled at him. "Just another ploy to get you to admit you need me." 

"I do need you." 

"And that I am ...?" 

"Beautiful?" 

She laughed a bit. "Nice gesture." 

I clear my throat. Maybe he'll get it when I mouth: "The 'A' word." 

"Oh ... and you're more than my assistant." Mission accomplished. "You are so much more than that." 

They hugged again. 

*** 

Three hours later we were on a plane. Josh, Donna and I are on a plane. We're going back to DC. I cannot believe that he ACTUALLY did it. 

"Josh?" I look at him. He's peering out the window. Donna is in the middle seat. I'm on the isle. 

"What, Sam? What could you possibly want right now?" 

"I need to go to the bathroom." 

Donna looks up from her book. "Sam ... please tell me you didn't say that." 

"What? I do. I have to go." I really do. 

"You, what? Need someone to hold your hand?" 

"I don't want to walk back there alone." 

"For goodness sake ... I'll walk with you." Donna stood. I smirked at Josh. We walked towards the back. 

"Thanks for coming back, Donna." I smile as we reach the bathroom. "I just wanted to say that." 

She smiled. "And I will make sure Mallory knows that you said that." 

I kiss her on the forehead. "You're a wonderful person. You may go back to your seat." 

She smiled and returned. 

When I got back, she was reading again, and, to my surprise, Josh was reading with her. He had his arm around her. He would later argue that it was because he could read easier when he was closer. 

I knew things were back to normal when they started bickering back and forth. 

"Josh. You smell like garlic." 

"I smell good." 

"You smell gross." 

"It's my allure ..." 


End file.
